the not-so-optimistic graduate...

Last month, I left you with a note that I would save the job stresses for another post. I'm not sure how many people still read this, but I have decided to be real and honest and share some of what I've been struggling with over the summer.

In June, I graduated from BCIT with an advanced diploma in GIS, or Geographic Information Systems after two years of part-time classes, ending with a final practicum internship. At the time, I was an excited and optimistic new grad, ready to hit the 'real' world and put my newly gained knowledge to work.

Over the final year of my studies at BCIT I tried to decide what I wanted to do after graduation. I've been with A Rocha for 4 years now, 2 of them in partnership with TWU, and 2 as GIS Coordinator, where I got to focus on mapping and working with interns on research projects, showing them how to use GPS units to collect spatial data at their sampling sites and then displaying these sites on maps. However, I yearned for an opportunity to work alongside others in GIS, not just on my own; I wanted (and still do want!) an opportunity to learn from others, instead of teaching others while I was still learning and teaching myself. So I decided that, at this point in my career/life, it would be valuable to look for full-time work somewhere that I could be part of a GIS team. This meant I would need to say goodbye to A Rocha as an employer (although I'm not sure I will ever truly say goodbye!).

So, in the final months of classes, and immediately following graduation, I monitored websites and searched for jobs, knowing it would be difficult giving the current economic situation, but still feeling like I would be able to find a placement in a couple months. Well, those couple of months have turned into four, and I have applied for a total of 9 jobs in that time. The results? Not even an interview. I've also have phone conversations with several people in the surrounding municipalities, asking for advice and tips, but from all the feedback I'm getting, I'm doing all the right things - there's just a lot of others out there doing the same. Because Mark is in a good job right now, my search radius is limited to the Lower Mainland and there just hasn't been a lot of GIS job activity in this area.

For the summer, we decided that I would increase my involvement with A Rocha by volunteering in the administration office, working on a database transition they have been trying to make for over a year (a lack of people dedicated to the project has made it slow, because the regular admin staff are swamped with every-day tasks). I also continued to support raise and work 2 days a week as GIS Coordinator. Now it's the end of September and I'm faced with the reality that this job search could be a long one. A couple weeks ago, I contacted my favourite bookstore and will be working 20-28 hours a week for them as a way to help out with our finances. I also want to remain on staff with A Rocha 1-2 days a week, both because I don't want to leave before I have to, and because it's the only place where I can try to maintain some of my GIS knowledge and experience now that I'm done with school.

There are times when I wonder if maybe God is trying to tell me to take a leap of faith and commit to working full-time with A Rocha, and that's why He's keeping all the other employment doors closed. I don't have the answer to this, and I'm still struggling to figure out what God has in store for me...to be honest, after 4 years of struggling to support raise funds for my work, I am burnt out and feel like I need a break. I have great respect for those who work to raise funds to support full-time work - I feel that I have never done it well, and to be honest, I long for a job where I don't need to think about how much money I need to raise to meet my set salary, where I don't choose to put in more hours than what I'm paid for simply because there's work to be done and I don't know how to raise more funds.

I want to re-iterate that I strongly believe in what A Rocha is doing as an organization, and my struggles are not a reflection of any dis-satisfaction with working there. I'm just feeling burnt out after 4 years of wondering if I'll bring in enough money each month to meet my goals (and lowering those goals so that I can feel like I am...).

If you made it this far and are still reading, or if you skimmed through and are reading the last paragraph, I have one request: prayer. Pray that God will open doors for new employment where I can learn new skills and bring glory to Him in another environment, or for a fresh motivation/desire/insight into support raising and remaining on staff with A Rocha.

Thank you for reading and

for praying.